For Richer or Poorer

An old friend of mine gave me this t-shirt back in October as a way of acknowledging my passion for women’s equality.  We can all smile at the caption but we must do so acknowledging its truth.  Though that moment between us was lighthearted, it did lead to several uncomfortable conversations about economic security for women and, in particular, women who, like his partner,  stay at home.

Salary.com  reports that on average stay at home moms should be charging $115, 000 per year for their work.    (You can enter your own data on the paycheck calculator and factor in your hours and salary if you work outside the home, in addition to the stay at home only.  Turns out my total paycheck would be $248,886!  Woo Hoo! )  Sadly, stay at home moms aren’t likely to see a penny of that $115,000 paycheck and many are not seriously thinking about their economic security over their life span.

We already know that when women leave the workforce to stay at home full time it significantly impacts their re-entry; both in position and salary.   What we don’t talk about is what other sources of economic security, in addition to having their own income, women forfeit.  I’d love to know how many families contribute to a 401 k in mom’s name to ensure she has retirement income.  How many are ensuring that mom stays engaged in some sort of professional development or education so if she chooses to return to work or ends up not having a choice but has to work, she can ensure her economic security?   How many families factor the entire family income and the loss of mom’s earnings when deciding to stay at home?  When does mom get a sick day or a bathroom break of her own?

I’m willing to bet my $248,886 paycheck that these conversations are not happening often enough, if they are happening at all.  Women aren’t negotiating salary and benefits at work and they aren’t doing it at home either!

The divorce rate for first marriages is 44% in the United States.  It’s even higher for second and third marriages (around 77%).  What happens to mom economically after she’s been at home, is now divorcing and must depend on alimony and her own ability to earn?

How does this impact mom when she is 65 or 70? After all, the life expectancy of women is nearly 6 years longer than that of men.  According to the Older Women in Rhode Island Report: A Portrait the average income for older women in the United States in 57.4% of older men.  So women live longer and with much less income.

Though my friend wasn’t contemplating divorce or retirement (yet), he also hadn’t contemplated the economic security of his partner,  the real dollar value of her stay at home contributions or her financial needs should she, at some point,  find herself alone.  It was also clear she hadn’t thought of her economic security.

These may be uncomfortable conversations, especially after the fact, but a woman’s economic security is critical to her and her family.  Gender explains much more than the difference in men and women’s salaries!

Are you economically secure?

“You Get What You Pay For.”

“In this world, you get what you pay for.” Kurt Vonnegut

Really? 

I’ve heard this quote since I was a child and folks said it meaningfully.  If it was quality you were after, well then,  you must expect to pay the price.  Higher price = better quality.  Folks were willing and often eager to be able to  pay the higher price to have the best quality they could afford.  In fact, talking about the quality of things seemed mighty important back then.  Yep, this here, the best money can buy!

That doesn’t really ring true today, does it?  We all want the highest quality for the best price and that usually means, the lower the price, the better yet we still expect high quality.  Seems we all like to think we are getting the better end of the deal no matter the cost to others. We expect it, believe we deserve it, and in some cases, demand it!  (just look at all the discount stores there are in America).

I’ve come to realize in the past few weeks that this way of thinking and being is deeply destructive to our society.   It isn’t about the money per-se, but about the principles and standards of behavior we carry about money, quality and value.

What’s that got to do with Equal Pay?

The Wage Gap reflects American values about women and work.  Though we have had The Equal Pay Act in the United States since 1963 (www.eeoc.gov/laws/statutes/epa.cfm) women are still earning less than men.  Some like to argue that this statement does not hold true when you analyze the data by education, experience, and hours. In fact, the data is analyzed in this way as well as by profession, salaried workers, hourly workers and more.

Every time we pay a woman less we are dishonest, unfair, corrupt!

The reality is when you hire a woman you get more than what you pay for because we’ve always underpaid women;  no matter the cost to them, their children and families, our communities, and our country.

Put on Your Gender Lens and Then Read On!

Report card time is often one of anxiety even when you know the evaluation criteria against which you’ll be measured and realize you have not done your best (or even made an effort) to meet those expectations.  Though we have been able to track our progress and efforts over time we open the report card hoping it will tell a different version of the story.

On January 30, the CFED (Corporation for Enterprise Development) released the national Assets and Opportunity Scorecard grading individual states (in addition to a rank order of states) on 33 measures.  Basically the assessment determines which states have strong policies toward helping residents build and protect assets.

I opened our report card hoping we’d somehow end up with a different version of the Rhode Island story than the one that, well, we deserve.  We didn’t fare so well.  Our highest grade?  We received a B in Health Care. C was given in policies related to financial assets and income; and education and business and jobs, D’s.   We failed in housing and homeownership.

Not a report card to boast about.   In fact, it’s something I am deeply concerned about.  As any responsible parent, guardian or government knows, it’s time for an intervention.

Dismal enough, these grades really only tell a part of the story.  Reading between the lines (and digging a bit deeper into the data made available by the CFED on their website) we unearth the burgeoning and persistent divide between communities of color and gender.  In general, whites are far LESS vulnerable. One and a half times more white workers own a business; almost two times as many workers of color are unemployed.   And, in every issue area, men are faring better than women.  If the data were analyzed looking at communities of color and gender we’d see an even deeper divide.  In fact, I’d be willing to bet that our B, C’s and D’s might all spiral downward to failing across the board.

The truth is persistent gender inequality continues to keep women and, even more so, women of color among the most financially vulnerable Rhode Islanders.  Underemployment, wage inequity, unfair payday and predatory lending, in addition to 6 years of declining state investments in programs designed to promote economic security among low and moderate income working women are responsible for producing the grades we, in all honesty, rightfully deserve.

Gender equality is the right course, the right intervention!  No community or state can thrive when it does not value and ensure the well-being of all its residents.  Policies and economic priorities must be examined through a gender lens. The implications of policy made without putting on our gender lens will continue to produce report cards and stories that keep real truths about the economic well-being of Rhode Islanders hidden.  More importantly, making policy with blinders on continues to impact the most vulnerable: women and women of color.

“For auld lang syne”

New Year’s. A time of reflection and letting loose of the old that no longer serves one to make room for the new.  Many will make resolutions; many will be soon forgotten.

I’ve learned some important things this year about change.  Often the focus of our New Year’s resolutions, the desire to change something about ourselves, an improvement to our lives, to do away with something or add something in an effort to refresh ourselves.

The aha moment this year came in learning that our hidden and competing goals kept unconscious win over our hoped for change. The need for self-preservation trumps our good intention. Excavating hidden and competing goals and testing out the assumptions and beliefs we hold offer the keys to the change we seek. *

I’ve long given up the tradition of New Year’s resolutions because too many were soon forgotten!  I do, however, have a New Year’s intent or theme that I focus on all year-long. No strings, no expectations, no goals, objectives and measures.  Just something I hold out there for myself to think and reflect on and invite in to my life as it will come. Interestingly and amazingly, these gifts do come into my life.  Over the years I’ve explored joy, freedom, gratitude, and abundance, among others. I’m always amazed as I take stock at the end of each year how the theme has played out over the year and how it’s shaped my life in ways I would not have known if I had narrowed myself to a resolution easily made and cast aside.

“For auld lang syne”, as the song goes, loosely translated, means “for the sake of old times”.  Tradition, culture, attitude, belief, habit, legend, lore and law often have us repeating roles, behaviors, routines and ways of life.  Not because they support the way we want our lives or those of our sons and daughters, but because they are familiar, safe, and support the stories we tell ourselves.

It is time to let loose of attitudes, beliefs, routines and behaviors that no longer serve us regarding gender.  For the sake of new times and future generations let us hold the intention to achieve gender equality.

*Immunity to Change

Making the Case…

Making the Case for Gender Equality

 The other day, as I prepared for a meeting where the topic of discussion would be the many things leading to gender equality - I found myself daydreaming about a recent trip to Scandinavia, trying to draw on the insight and inspiration gathered while I was there.  The trip gave me the opportunity to meet with leaders and learn about the advances in gender equality in several of the leading countries for women (according to the World Economic Forum). 

On this same day, a clip of President Obama’s speech on gender equality at the Women’s National Law Center came to my notice. Stating that “change does not always happen quickly or easily”, the President went on to say that “the weak state of our economy and job market would make strides toward gender equality a challenging task”.  

But wait, gender equality is critical to a strong economy and improved job market, say leaders I met with in Iceland and Norway. 

It’s important to acknowledge that the social and moral imperatives for gender equality are critically important for society but there is also an important economic imperative. Why is it we rarely discuss the economic imperative here in the US?

I expected to return from my trip fortified with knowledge that would help steer the work of gender equality in Rhode Island 5 or 10 years down the road.  But what I realized was that we in RI and here in the US were not 5 or 10 years behind, but nearly 40 years behind.  The Equal Rights Amendment has been stalled (still waiting for 3 states) — since 1972!  39 years in the waiting!  The deadline for ratification expired in 1982.

In the 1970s most of Scandinavia passed equal status laws and over the last 4 decades have refined and improved policies, ensuring fair and equitable implementation and accountability systems at every level of government.   They have long understood that gender equality is an economic, social and moral imperative. 

It’s time to wake up to the reality that gender equality can contribute to economic development.  As women enter and stay in the labor force earning equitable wages and benefits for equitable work, we’ll experience increased contribution to the GDP and, beyond that, will improve the quality of life and well-being. 

Gender equality is a win win.  If we put skills, education, professionalism, experience and profitability at the forefront and live by the decree that all are created equal then we all share in the social responsibility that includes a strong economy and labor market.  Without gender equality we are just moving chairs around on the deck of our economic Titanic.

Equality Day

It’s Women’s Equality Day here in the US and Facebook and twitter are lit up with proclamations and glad tidings about the promise of this day………though the equality we celebrate has yet to come.  Countless women and women’s organizations are tweeting, posting and blogging about this day, it’s meaning, and the importance of women’s equality underscored by memories, quotes and images from  the suffrage movement  to present day.  I note that President Obama’s public statement acknowledging a societies well-being rests in the economic and social independence of women and girls is one of a few insertions in social and print media by, well, men.

Men, young men, and boys…. we need you to post, tweet and blog about your support for equality.

 

A Toast!

About to raise my glass to toast my Nordic hosts!

The beauty of your countries will live in my heart, the warmth of your people lift my spirit, and the gender advances in your policies and practices give promise that we too, in Rhode Island, can advance gender equality.

To the Rhode Island Foundation, Women’s Fund of Rhode Island board, staff and consultants, and to the many family and friends who have made this possible, thank you. It has been a transformational experience, a time of rest and reflection, and the start of the next chapter!

It will take a few months for all of this to sink and synch in. I hope you will stayed tuned for more posts as I continue to process and reflect on my pursuit for gender equality and the work I’m doing in the Rhode Island trenches!